Update about Dad

I was shocked to see that my last post was in Feb 2009!  So much has happened since then. . .
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Update about dad:  I'm sure I posted previously that dad was diagnosed with cancer in January of 2008.  He was doing well until Oct of 2009.  He went with us to Chuckie Cheese in October for Mercedes' bday and that month was absolutely horrible for H1N1 (flu).  Dad said he still wanted to and that he would stay at the table.  He did that and we all had a fantastic time.  Shortly after that visit, he ended up contracting the virus and was admitted to the hospital.  He wasn't doing well at all and the doctors said they would do what they could, but there was a chance he wouldn't make the night.  He ended up doing just fine and was discharged.  However, ever since H1N1, he couldn't get "fully healthy".  He was readmitted in November for dehydration and then he started losing weight.  I ended up having to shave his head sometime during the month of November as it was falling out.  I have to admit that he looked pretty good like that!  :)  December he still wasn't doing well and started to have fluid removed from his stomach.  He went in as he needed and they would get liters out at a time - that's an outrageous amount.  We could all tell that during Christmas of 2009, he was not feeling well.  At one point, he got up and his jeans fell to the floor because he's lost so much weight.  It was horrible seeing him like that.  He kept moving forward I think because he knew this would be his last Christmas and he didn't want to spoil it for anyone or he wanted to enjoy it.  Man, I just get teary eyed thinking about it. . .  ugh. 

Christmas Day was horrible and the weather was awful.  Dad was not well and was brought to the hospital.  By this time, things were so awful that they told mom they would do what they could, but didn't know if he would make it to HCMC.  Some number was at a "4" and the doctors said generally by this point, the patient is unconscious.  Well, they apparently didn't know my dad.  lol.  He was admitted to HCMC and the prognosis was very grim and we went through lots of things as a family.  There was a time when we all said our goodbyes, held dad's hand, rubbed his head (which we found out later he absolutely hated!  I told dad that I was still going to rub his head!  lol!), and told him how much we all loved him.  We all camped out in this ICU lobby and actually took it over.  There were so many of us there and we ended up sleeping there, too.  We wanted to be as close as we could and were able to come and go as we pleased.  Dad had one test that didn't go well and the docs and nurses had a debriefing meeting about it.  Dad overcame that test as well and was ultimately discharged.  The docs/nurses said they didn't think dad would walk out of the hospital.  There were several times during his HCMC stay that the docs said the prognosis is very grim and to prepare for the worst.  Again, we consoled the doctors and said that our dad is strong and will prevail yet again as he has in the past.  The docs would look at us as though we were out of our minds, but would just nod their heads and agree.  How could they disagree when all of the family members are confident that dad would come home?  Dad's discharge day was a happy one to say the least.  The docs and nurses were shocked that he could be discharged to go home directly from ICU.  lol - I guess that doesn't happen very often. 

Dad did ok after discharge, but things kept going downhill.  In January and February of 2010, dad was on so many RX's, that I had to make a spreadsheet telling us when to give what Rx and what he had to eat with it.  They all upset his stomach so much because he couldn't eat anything, but yet I kept requiring dad to eat something with the pill.  The look on his face was begging me to quit doing that.  Dad and I had lots of quiet times together just chatting about what's going on with the kids and ultimately the songs he wanted for his funeral.  What a tough discussion that was!

I have to get back to work, so I'll continue the post about the funeral discussion next time.  Hopefully it won't be another 4 years!  lol.

Peace.
Becky

MERCEDES IS GOING TO INTERNATIONAL PEDAL PULL!!!!!!

Wow, where has the time gone??? I noticed that I totally didn't blog about Mercedes and the whole pedal pull experience in South Dakota! The pull was at 10am I believe and we could start registering at 9am at the Corn Palace. Well, let me back up. . .

We had planned on leaving right after school. It turned out Jon was able to go with us, but we had to pick him up at a jobsite down by Rapidan or somewhere. It was a pipeline job. We didn't end up leaving MN until 7:30pm which means we didn't get to our room until 11:30pm-ish. We had supper and thought for sure the kids would fall asleep along the way. NO WAY!! They were talking, giggling and just being all excited about the big day. We stayed at a Days Inn in Mitchell, SD and the kids had a blast. We got a suite and the room was HUGE!! I hate being all cramped in a hotel room, so this actually worked out great. We had breakfast at Perkins with Mom and Dad and Jim & Marlys. They all stayed overnight on Friday night, too. After breakfast we headed to the Corn Palace and took lots and lots of pictures. Mercedes was nervous, but she kept saying, "Mom, I will get a trophy, I know it." The top 5 kids would go on to Internationals. She and I went down on the floor to check out the trophies and to get a program and a t-shirt for her. I thought that was something worth spending money on. :) Everyone was just so excited!! We were going stir crazy watching the 4 and 5 yr olds. Mercedes just said she wished it was her turn already. lol. I swear I had more butterflies, though, than she did. We asked her who she wanted with her on the floor and she said, "Mom!" :) The grandparents all stayed in the stands with Sierra and Lincoln, while Mercedes and I sat on the chairs and then Jon walked down to stand in the first row. When we sat in the red chairs, I was pumping her up and telling her what to do and the poor thing just looked so nervous!! I believe she was #10 out of 17. The girls kept going farther and farther and soon there were 3 full pulls ahead of her already!! I thought, "OMG!! OMG!!!" I told her that she would absolutely positively have to get a full pull if she wanted to try getting a trophy. She looked and me and said, "Don't worry, mom, I'm getting a trophy!!" Then #9 was called, which meant we were to walk up and wait for our turn. YIKES!!! We had a little time, so I was able to take a pic with the guy telling the girls when to go and he just looked at her and said, "Full pull, kiddo!! I know you can do it!!" I smiled at her and the girl ahead of her also got a full pull!! That was the 3rd one. GULP!! Mercedes sat on the tractor, I went to the end of the track (I had told Mercedes how far she would have to pedal for a full pull.) so she knew she would have to get to me or she would be out of the contest. She was only looking at me (I instructed her to not look at anyone else in the stands.) and I was only looking at her. It was as if time was standing still for everyone else, but not for her and I. We both were soooo concentrated on each other that neither one of us even heard the cheering from the stands from the Grandparents and Jon! We all told them later that it was awful they didn't cheer and they all said they were hollaring LOUD! lol. No kidding, we didn't hear a thing. lol. Well, Mercedes got a full pull and we were ECSTATIC!!! I was so proud of her!! I told her that there were 7 more girls, she was the 4th full pull, so no matter what, she would have to do it again. However, I told her it was a good thing there were so many girls after her because her legs would be able to rest. Tension was high as each girl went and suddenly there was another full pull!! AAAHHHHH!!! I kept thinking that if there were only 5 full pulls, she was guaranteed to get a trophy and go to Internationals. Soon there were only 4 girls left, then 3, then 2, and then 1 and then MERCEDES WAS GUARANTEED TO GO TO INTERNATIONALS!!! Once the last girl went, Mercedes said, "Mom, do I get a trophy?" and I just told her I didn't know because she would have to pull again. Once we knew there were only 5 full pulls, I looked back in the stands at mom and dad and said, "OMG, she going on!!!!" She went for the 2nd time and did great AGAIN. :) The announcer said before the girls went up there for their 2nd pull, "Ok, ladies. Looks like we are pulling for trophies!!" Mercedes asked me what that meant and I just told her I wasn't sure. I didn't want her to know at that time she was for sure getting a trophy. When they called her name for 5th place, her eyes were absolutely huge and I encouraged her to get her trophy. That was amazing seeing her with that big, huge, trophy. All of the girls looked so excited and proud. I got several pictures and I was SO PROUD OF HER!!!! She set her mind to it and she kicked butt!!! We all were just so excited and hugging her and kissing her. :)

After the pull, we went to the traditional Pizza Ranch and talked for several hours about the pull and what happened. We stayed one more night and saw several other pullers at the pool that night and it was fun talking with the other parents. We could see our room from the pool and we set the trophy right in the window for everyone to see. :) Mercedes held her trophy the entire way back to Gaylord. We are all so proud of her!!!!

Peace.

SIERRA TURNS 10 YEARS OLD TODAY!!

I have to say that I'm just sooooo extremely excited to give Sierra her birthday presents. Jon is so bummed that he's in TX and won't be there for her today. She said she understands and I hope that he doesn't miss too many of these. . . :) We all said we're in this together so we know we have to hang tough and we'll get through it.
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Ok, since I know that Sierra won't be reading this, I'll spill the beans. SHE'S GETTING A NINTENDO DS LITE FOR HER BDAY!!! The poor thing has been wanting and wanting and wanting a DS and I keep telling her she couldn't have one. I finally talked with Jon about it and he said she could have one. BUT, we've been telling her that she needs to save her money so she can buy it herself! lol. I have to admit, watching Sierra try to save money is quite comical. She just likes everything and wants to buy it all! I bought a DS, numerous games, a case, special shield so it doesn't get scratched, etc. She worked her *ss off this summer for me. I told Jon I can really tell already that she's not home during the day because no one is washing my clothes, cleaning the house, etc. She did absolutely FABULOUS this summer and worked hard. Generally, we don't spend that much on bdays, but tell you what, this CHILD HAS EARNED IT!! I feel so bad because she told me she wanted money for her bday and she saw all sorts of giftbags for her on the fireplace. lol. She thinks she's not getting money and she was counting on this money to buy her DS! lmao. Poor thing. I can just imagine the look on her little face when she sees the DS in one of those bags. We're only giving her the DS, case, and 1 game and then lots of clothes. The rest of the games I'll give to her for Christmas or whatever. The game and case is technically for doing such an awesome job this summer, so she deserves me to spend a little more on her. :) Everyone at work thinks I'm just a horrible mom for expecting Sierra to do so many things while she was home. I told them I really didn't ask her to do anything she couldn't handle and she understood her things had to be done before she could go to the pool. She went to the pool each afternoon as Trailblazer picked her up. The days she didn't go to the pool, she had Carron over, so she definitely had her fun, too.
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I'm currently at work, so nothing like blogging and getting paid for it! lmao. I'm terrible, I know. Hey, at least all of my work is done, so I'm able to do this.
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Tonight we're going to Pizza Ranch with mom and dad and then we'll open gifts afterwards. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HER FACE!!! She will be absolutely, positively THRILLED!
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I forgot to write in here that she's having a spa birthday party on Friday night. She's asking 8 people, but only the girls are staying overnight. We'll bring the boys home once it gets dark out. I bought mud masks for the girls, cucumbers for their eyes, sparkles for their hair and they can put on lots of make up and curl their hair, etc. Sierra and Morgan are just besides themselves because they are so excited. They told the rest of the girls to be sure to bring their robes, slippers, etc for this special treatment. Can you imagine 7 girls (including Sierra and Mercedes) running around with mud masks on? lol. Too funny. Wish me luck on Friday night!
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Peace.

MERCEDES PLACED 2ND AT STATE PEDAL PULL!!!!!

WE ARE GOING TO NATIONALS IN SOUTH DAKOTA!!! WOOO HOOOO MERCEDES!!!
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Here is the email I sent, along with a pic of Mercedes and her trophy, to several friends, family, pastor, the newspaper, teachers, and principal:
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Good Morning everyone!!
Today is a great day as it's Sierra's 10th birthday. But. . . I have to share our news that happened over the weekend with Mercedes.

As most of you know, the kids have done pedals pulls since Sierra was 4 yrs old. Each of the kids (including Lincoln) have done very well this summer and each qualified to go to State Pedal Pull Championship in Hutch. This means that any child who placed 1st or 2nd in any State sanctioned pedal pull can go to State. If 1st and/or 2nd already qualified then the child who placed 3rd can go to State. (Generally there's around 600 kids who compete at State.)

Anyway, State was this past weekend. There were 71 boys in Lincoln's group and he got 4th place. He was a few feet short of the 3rd place boy. I told him he did very, very well considering competition was that tough and he got 4th place. Next was Mercedes and she was all psyched up and was so excited to pull. There was around 30 girls in her group and she was inches from a full pull. After she went, she was in 1st place. Mercedes was #21 in the group, so there were several after her and we all were soooo nervous! There was one girl who got a full pull, so she bumped Mercedes to 2nd place. As each remaining girl went, we crossed our fingers so Mercedes wouldn't get bumped. State gets pretty crazy as there are pulls going at each end of the building. I asked my mom if she would write down the measurements (since I was sitting with Mercedes in a different area waiting to go) of everyone, but it gets crazy as they are announcing measurements for the pulls that are going on at the same time. So, mom said she wasn't always sure if she was writing down the correct measurement that pertained to Mercedes' group. We were just nervous and excited and really we weren't positive where she placed after the last girl went. We knew she was inches from a full pull, so we only hoped she placed 2nd or 3rd. Well, the 3rd place person was announced and we thought Mercedes went farther than her and then her name was announced as the 2nd place winner!! My mom and dad were there (Jon was in TX working, so he couldn't be there.) with me and the kids. We all started screaming we were sooooo excited!! Because she placed 2nd, she is going to NATIONALS in SOUTH DAKOTA!!!! This is such a huge accomplishment for her. She really worked so hard in the pedal pulls this summer! The National Championship is the last weekend in September so that's where we will be!!

Sierra's pull was in the afternoon and she was soooo excited as she was also #21 in her age group. As she knows, the competition at her age is also tough. The 3rd place winner pulled 16'3" and Sierra pulled 14' and some inches. She, too, was soooo close!! 2nd place pulled 16'6", so that shows you that literally, each inch counts. We all told Sierra that we were proud of her, too, because that's a big deal making it to State and still being in the top of the group.

Both Lincoln and Sierra told Mercedes how proud of her they were and it was just cute to see them. There were a few tears from Lincoln because he was sad about not getting a trophy and Mercedes did, but he realized it was ok and he had a good pull, too.
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Soooo, Nationals are the end of September and believe it or not, the top 5 in each group at Nationals move on to Internationals!!! Mercedes will be competing against kids from all States that have State sanctioned pedal pulls. We all told her she needs to keep riding her bike until Nationals so leg muscles stay strong! :)

Attached is a pic of Mercedes and her trophy. We all are so proud of her and I just wanted to share.

Thanks for taking the time to finally reach the bottom of the email!!!

(Our computer system is down right now, so hopefully it's up soon! Oh, how I love Mondays!!)

Have a great day everyone!!
blh
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What an absolutely fabulous weekend. We are just so extremely proud of all 3 kids. They each worked so hard.

Peace.

Where has the time gone?!?!

Ok, ok, ok. I just realized that the last time I wrote in here was the first part of June!! What on earth?! Sorry about that everyone. Yikes!
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Let me think back to June. It was actually a very uneventful beginning and middle of the month. Things were pretty stressfull the end of the month waiting for dad's scan results. Then, on June 27th (also Rick's bday), we got the best results EVER!! Dad's scans showed no new growth and no active cancer cells. YEA!!!!!!! Talk about awesome, huh? Well, prior to that, my blood pressure was sky rocketing. I ended up taking a family medical leave and I was gone 2 full weeks and then worked 2 days/wk through the end of August and then came back fulltime as of 09 01 08.
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In July, not much happened. For my bday we went to Rick's cabin and then went swimming at the Gaylord pool. That was the best ever! At night, we were all too tired for fireworks, so we actually watched them on TV. lol. Seriously, that was absolutely, positively perfect. We could relax and watch them all together. The end of July was the family reunion. Everyone from the Suedbeck's and Harbarth's came, but absolutely no one from the Kuphal side. No one from Gary's or Betty's even replied saying they couldn't make it! Jon and I both said that 2008 was our last year for the reunion. If people can't even appreciate all we do, then forget it.
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August was great and we were preparing for School and going to lots and lots of pedal pulls. The kids just keep kicking *ss!! It's great and I love it. All 3 of them got trophies most of the time at each pull so I'm sure everyone was thinking, "Great, here's the Suedbeck kids. Now we don't have a chance." lol. At the Brownton pull, all 3 got 1st place! Everyone looked at us and we just walked away proud with 3 trophies in hand. It was the best. Jon and I had the pull again at Eggstravaganza this year. Mercedes and Lincoln got trophies, but Sierra missed 3rd place by inches! Ugh! Leighton Rose got 3rd place instead, so maybe that was ok. This was also the month that I had a scare about cervical cancer. I've been doctoring for awhile now, but Dr Johnson said I'm supposed to schedule another Colposcopy for January 2009 and we'll see where that takes us. August 22nd we got results again showing no new growth and no active cancer cells for dad! THAT IS AWESOME!!! We were absolutely ecstatic. 2 awesome results in a row!
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The girls each have had their first days of school and they went fine. Really, nothing new to report with that.

Peace.

KDWB-FM Player

KDWB-FM Player

It's been awhile!! Summary below! lol

Wow, I didn't realize that it's been so long since my last blog! OMG! So much has changed since January. Here's a summary:

1) Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer, but it's not known which type. He had 38 radiation treatments and also had chemo at the same time. He still is on chemo and that will go another 2 wks since he has scans on 06 25 08. His first set of scans was the end of April and we found out that the lumps decreased to 1/2 their size. The spot on his liver grew, but that was within the margin of error, so in actuality, it may not have grown. The 27th will be a big day for us since we'll find out if it's gotten bigger, smaller, etc. Dad's attitude has been ok through it all. Oh, Diagnosis day was 01 28 08.

2) On April 16th, 2008 we had a surprise 40th Anniversary for mom and dad at our house. We asked the Harbarth's and the Kuphal's and had a great turnout. Oh, we also asked Ron & Miriam. Mom and dad were shocked and both of them were crying. :)

3) In April, Dad was coughing up spots of blood, so that's what caused him to have a set of scans then instead of the end of May. Everything turned out fine here.

4) Nothing earth-shaking happened during May. Oh, mom got enough hrs to qualify for insurance through the hospital, so they were very thankful for this. Insurance has paid a tremendous amount and that's been a huge burden taken off of their shoulders knowing they do not have to worry about not having insurance.

5) The first week of June, 2008, Sierra, Mercedes, Lincoln, me and Jon and Mom & Dad and Spencer stayed in Duluth at the Edgewater Resort. The waterpark was amazing and Lincoln had a blast and was not scared!! Spencer was afraid of drains, so he wouldn't go down the slides with Sierra, but Jon went with her and they had so much fun! We got a suite and there were 2 sets of bunkbeds so that was nice that each kid had their own bed. My family went to the Glensheen mansion, Vista Fleet (cruise), toured the Irvin (ship), and went to the Great Lakes Aquarium. All of us went on a train ride on Wednesday night and the train served Domino's pizza. The kids absolutely loved this. We arrived on Sunday and left on Thurs morning. We planned on leaving Friday, but it was going to be raining all day Thurs and Fri so we figured we might as well go home and catch up with everything. The kids had so much fun!!

6) Oh, I forgot! The girls' last days of school went awesome! There was an awards day and Sierra got chosen as the Academic All Star (again!!) and so we are going to the Mall of America this summer for the ceremony. We are so proud of her! She also received an award for reading the most and for getting the highest MAPS scores in all of 3rd grade!!!! THAT'S AWESOME!! Mercedes had a little graduation that Jon and I were able to attend and it was wonderful. I got teary eyed thinking at the beginning of Kindergarten she couldn't read anything and then at the end of the year, she can nearly read anything she sees! Now that's accomplishment! We are so proud of her, too!!

7) The first pedal pull of the season was on Saturday in Glencoe. This is the 1st year that Lincoln could pull and we were a bit nervous about how he would do. There were sooooo many kids in his group (about 20) and there were a few full pulls even before he pulled. Ugh. He got up there and was just smiling away and he GOT A FULL PULL!!!!! We were sooooo proud of him!!! There ended up being 4 full pulls and then on his second pull, he went 30 some feet!!! HE GOT 1ST PLACE!!! He was so excited and he just kept saying that that was his very 1st trophy and that he was going to put it in the window sill with the others. Ohhhhhh, what a little peanut!! Then, it was Mercedes' turn to pull and she also got a full pull (as well as 3 other kids) and on her 2nd pull, she also went 30 some feet and ended up with 1st place as well!!!! OMG!! I HAVE AWESOME PULLERS! lol. She beat out 2 boys for 1st place. The crowd was just cheering so loud! Sierra went after that and got 4th or 5th place. The boys are just so big so they were the ones to get 1st - 3rd place. We still are proud of her for trying. :)

8) Jon was in his very first lawnmower race on Saturday night, too. We were at Glencoe Days for the pedal pull when they announced that the lawnmower races were starting at 6pm. It was about 4:30pm and Jon kept asking if I thought he should go home to get the mower. We knew it was just for fun and so I told him to hurry up and get it. lol. Turns out there were 3 people racing against eachother and their was a painted track that the guys had to race in. Long story short, Jon ended up with 1st place!!!!!!! We again were absolutely shocked!!! He got $40 in food/drink tickets!!! That was AWESOME!!! It bought supper for everyone and then a little more. He had a blast and we will definitely do it again next year.

I have to get back to work. That's the summary for now!!

Peace.
Becky

I'm crying. . .

as I type this. Mom and Dad told us kids on Friday that dad has been having medical issues and essentially he was being tested for cancer. Mom called today and said that he does have cancer and it's not lymphoma. From what Paula told me last night, he has a baseball size mass next to his windpipe and 1 mass in each or around or outside of his lungs. I asked mom today when she called (I'm home because Lincoln has a Staff (Staph?) infection.) what kind of cancer it was and she didn't say. If it's not Lymphoma, would it be Lung cancer? Jon is in Iowa right now meeting with Larry so I have already called and told him. I just don't know what to think. What stage is it? I feel absolutely horrible now because he and I got into so much before the holidays. UGH. Everything has been ok with us and we've been carrying on like normal so I guess the apology really is understood and it's been all fine since then. Ok - I've got to say it. I'm scared to ask mom, but what is the life expectancy? Ok. Now I feel totally guilty, but I keep thinking this isn't fair. Ok, now the one side of my head is saying, "You know, at least dad met all of his grandkids and at least he saw all of us kids grow up, get married, etc." Just last week I was wondering why we didn't get any family pictures at Christmas. Thinking back, it was all such a rush and the kids were acting up and tired, etc. Like everyone else has always said, "You have to live for the day as you don't know what life has in store for you." How on earth do I tell the kids? How do I tell them without crying? How can I give them the strength when I feel like I don't have much for myself, let alone for them, too? I pray that God helps me with this. I think of the people at work and my co-worker's dad died at a young age, Sonya's dad passed away from a heart attack a few years ago, there was a friend from high school who's dad passed away her freshman year in college. I can have faith that God will take care of this however He sees fit and will do what needs to be done. I know I have to trust in Him to heal dad and to guide the doctors in making the right decision. Ok. Let's pull ourselves back up and think about this rationally. Let's list the things I know. Hmmm.

Mom's call consisted of this: "Well, that was the doctor that called already. He said it was cancer, but not lymphoma. He said the specialist will call sometime this week to discuss where we need to go from here."
Becky said, "Do we know what type of cancer it is?"
Mom: "No, I don't. I'm assuming the specialist will go over everything."
Becky: "I'm assuming he'll be having Chemo and Radiation?"
Mom: "Becky, I honestly don't know. We have to wait until the doc calls us back. Hopefully he'll call this afternoon. Dad made sure he has the cell number since we are going to Mkto to meet Rick."
Becky: "Ok. Paula and I talked last night and we said that us kids can bring dad to any appts that he has and we think that he shouldn't be going alone. So, if you can't bring him, we certainly will go with. 4 or more ears are better than 2. Be sure to call me if the doc calls you or if you hear anything else."
Mom: "Ok, we'll talk later."
Becky: "Bye"
Mom: "Bye"
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Ok. Sometimes the internet is not a good thing because I was looking up info about lung cancer and reading all of that and getting depressed. Hmm - ok, so looking at the phone call above, I don't know anything do I? So why should I be reading about a certain cancer when I don't know what it is, right? I think there's a Caringbridge site where the little girl had stage 4 cancer and she wasn't meant to live long and she's been cancer free now for over a year. What about Kody Kruppenbacher from FL who had a brain tumor and the parents were told he wouldn't live long and now he's like 12 or something like that. The last scan they did showed the tumor was gone! I think I have my thinking cap back on straight. Whew - it was quite tilted for a little while there. Yikes. I knew I just needed a place to let everything out and to write, but yet not have to talk with anyone. I don't want to talk with anyone right now. Jon said that he will call later or on his way home and we'll talk. I don't want to right now. I just want to type about what I'm feeling not have anyone give me feedback on what I'm saying. I wish the tears would just stop already. I'm trying to think rationally and pull myself up by bootstrings (or whatever the saying is) and the tears just keep coming. UGH.

I always talk about Heaven to the kids and talk about Jesus and what it might be like up there. The other day, Lincoln said he wanted to see Jesus up in Heaven and asked when we could go. He's made pictures of Jesus and they are pretty cute. :) He keeps asking if Jesus likes them and I tell him that He does. I explained to Lincoln that Jesus will call us and Lincoln said, "On the telephone?" and I just said, "yes". :) Anyway, I told Lincoln that Jesus would call each of us when it's time to go to see him, but we can't go until he calls to invite us to Heaven. I explained that until Jesus calls, we just have to keep doing good things where we are and then we'll be ready to go when he calls. I then explained that we have no idea when he'll call us, but we always have to be ready and Lincoln seemed ok with that answer.

Why is it that I feel so guilty? I feel like I should have been a better daughter for dad. I remember I was always told that I was the most difficult one to deal with and I always pushed their buttons and I always went "against the grain". I know we had several big blow outs since Jon and I have been together. I can't remember what all of them were about, but I know it happened. Then we just had the blowout before the holidays. In the heat of the moment, I told mom stuff that dad said about her and then the 2 of them were arguing. I wish I wouldn't have said that. However, I do remember one of the parents from a Caringbridge site said that they gave their child everything when they had cancer, but later realized that wasn't the answer. They said that they should have kept treating her like normal instead of giving her everything. So, on the other hand, would I have chewed him out about driving on our lawn if I knew he had cancer, probably not, but then listening to what those parents said, I shouldn't treat him any different. On the other hand, we do argue and maybe that's what some children & parents do. Maybe we aren't so different because we argue and get it out and then have an understood apology. I guess the good thing is that we don't stay mad. Yes, it did bug us and we were upset about it, but we got over it and moved on. Plus, we moved on before we knew he had cancer and not after. We were able to get over it on our own before this life changing information was known. I guess on the other hand, would I have lived my life any differently knowing Dad would be diagnosed with cancer on 01 22 08? Probably not. People generally don't always just get along and never fight. That's part of living is to get along, fight and resolve it. That's what makes the world go around - differences in opinions. Everyone always tells me that dad and I are so much alike so maybe that's why we bonked heads so often. I told him that when we were arguing this last time. I said something about being so stubborn and how I learned from the best (meaning I learned from dad) and he didn't say anything. It is true, though, and I know Paula and Rick will agree with me about how I'm just like dad. I do say that I probably did get my best qualities from him - my stubbornness, "hard-headedness" (is that a word?), my voice that learned to stand up for myself and not let anyone else tell me differently, the issue of never backing down, not letting anyone tell me that I couldn't do something, etc. I have to say those are my best qualities and I did get them from dad and I'm proud to say it. Thanks, Dad. I love you.

Peace.

Update & Jon's first flight today!!

Long story short - Jon took the test on the 19th of December and passed. We are now waiting for some info before we can submit the request for a Master's and Contractor's license in TX.

The guys all left for TX on 01 05 08. We have been doing ok back here and Jon is flying back (his first time) as I speak. Work is going rather well in TX, but the hotels aren't the same as in MN.

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Here's a copy of an email I sent to Paula this morning:

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Jon just called and said that he made it just fine from Lubbock to Dallas. :)

Backing up. . . his plane left this morning at like 7:10am. I kept watching the clock, etc. I decided to call Dustin on the way to work to see how it went, etc. He said, "Becky, Jon was really scared. I tried to keep telling him everything would be ok, but he was just so scared!" Ooooh. I thanked Dustin for being there with him. He said everything went ok, though, and then he had to pick stuff up at the wholesale house, so he dropped Jon off and then left.

Jon called me about 8:40am and said everything went fine. He said as the plane was taking off, he kept thinking, "I love you, Becky!!!" Ohhhhh. He said the Lubbock airport was very small and everything went great. He said Dallas was ENORMOUS. lol. He said he had to take a train to his next gate. Crazy! I think you said you've had to do that, too. When he called, he was at his next gate waiting for the next flight at 10:40am. He said there was a Burger King right there and he was going to eat before the next one. He said he was in seat 4D and I thought he said no one sat next to him. He said it was only about a 50 passenger plane and there were 4 empty seats. He said, "Becky it was so crazy because it's like on TV - we were flying above the clouds!" Now, for those of us having a first flight, that's a huge deal! lol. He said he didn't like takeoff, but landing was ok for him. :) He also said he was very glad he didn't bring any bigger bag as it wouldn't have fit in the upper area and he was very glad that he didn't check any bags. He said he has numerous layers of clothes on because they didn't all fit in his bag. lmao. I told him he will be fine once he gets to MKE airport as it will be freezing! ooooh - impressed I used the acronym? I'm learning! He said they made him take his belt off, too. I thought that was weird. He said they rummaged through his bag and he had to take off his shoes, etc just like you said. You know - I'm super glad that his first time at security was at a small airport like LBB because there weren't as many people there like at MSP and everyone was nice and patient. Now when he leaves MSP to go back to TX, at least he'll know what security is like with the mobs of people and all in a hurry.

I did tell the kids this morning that dad was on an airplane as I spoke and that he should be home tonight. They absolutely flipped out! lol. Last night Lincoln was talking with me and he said, "Mommy, when I see daddy again, will he have big pipeliner muscles?" He was soooo sincere when he said that. Ooooh, my little boy.

I'm so excited to see him!!

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This is Jon's first flight and he has 2 layovers and will be on 3 different airplanes! Crazy! I'm so excited to hear all of the details when he gets home. Woo hoo!!

I can't wait to see him!!!!!!!!!!

Peace.